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Fear vs. freedom: why your gut wants you to relax around food

3 November 2025

By The Gut Health Doctor Team

Dr Megan Rossi in a lab looking through a microscope

The festive season is all about food, fun and celebration. Yet it’s also when guilt, anxiety and that uneasy sense of losing control around food can start to sneak in. Whether it’s a second helping at Sunday lunch or a mince pie at the office, many people feel torn between enjoying the moment and worrying about undoing their progress — whether that’s weight, hormone or gut health related.

And it’s more common than you think. Around 80% of people we see at The Gut Health Clinic, across a range of health concerns, have a complicated or anxious relationship with food.

But here’s the thing: your body doesn’t judge your choices. It responds to patterns over time, not single meals. Research shows that fear-based restriction and “off-limits” foods can actually backfire, reducing microbial diversity, increasing cravings and even worsening gut symptoms.

This season is your chance to rethink what a healthy relationship with food really means — one that nourishes your microbes, supports your mood and lets you enjoy every bite, guilt-free.

In this article, we’ll explore why food fears can do more harm than good, how your mindset directly influences your gut, and share practical, evidence-based strategies to help you rebuild trust with food so you can enjoy the festive season feeling calm, confident and in control.

When food feels stressful

So, what’s really happening when eating starts to feel stressful?

Food fear usually comes from one of two places. For some, it’s the worry that certain foods will trigger gut or hormone-related symptoms. For others, it’s the anxiety of losing control or gaining weight after eating “forbidden” foods, often rooted in years of dieting or mixed nutrition messages.

That fear can make eating, especially in social settings, feel like a minefield. And while it might seem harmless to avoid foods like chocolate or crisps, the emotional and physiological impact can be significant.

But this isn’t about willpower, it’s about biology. Your gut and brain are in constant two-way conversation through the gut–brain axis, and that communication is highly sensitive to fear and stress. When you eat in a state of anxiety or guilt, your body’s ‘fight or flight’ response kicks in, slowing digestion and heightening gut-lining sensitivity which can trigger a transiently leaky gut, hello inflammation.

In fact, this helps explain the nocebo effect. This is when believing a food is harmful actually triggers physical symptoms, even if the food itself isn’t the cause. One study in the journal Gastroenterology found that people who thought they’d eaten gluten reported significant bloating and pain even when their meals were completely gluten-free.

Prolonged food-related stress also raises cortisol, the body’s main stress hormone, which can disrupt digestion, metabolism and appetite regulation. It’s a powerful reminder that mindset isn’t just a mental state, it’s a physiological signal your gut responds to.

Think restriction helps your gut? Think again.

1. Cutting carbs isn’t the answer.

Carbohydrates, remember fibre is a type of carb, is your gut microbes’ favourite fuel. Restricting them can reduce microbial diversity and slow digestion. In a study of nearly 200,000 people, those with the highest gluten intake (often from fibre-rich grains like barley and rye) had a 20% lower risk of type 2 diabetes than those with the lowest intake. Now this is not because gluten itself is protective, but because these foods support a healthier, more diverse gut ecosystem.

2. Restriction ≠ control.

The more you forbid a food, the more power it holds. In one University of Toronto study, participants told to avoid chocolate for a week ended up eating far more of it when faced with the temptation than those given permission to enjoy it freely. It’s the classic restrict–binge cycle, and it fuels guilt, not balance.

3. “Safe” foods aren’t safer.

Eating the same limited set of meals (or foods) might feel comforting, but it can starve your gut of the diversity. That’s why, studies have found that people who take a restrictive approach are more likely to have weight problems. Research by Memphis State University highlighted that people with a highly restricted approach weighed more after a year than those who were more flexible, with women gaining the most weight compared to men.

One reason? Inclusive eating naturally encourages a broader range of plant foods — which fuels your gut: metabolism connection, helping to regulate appetite (and sex) hormones, and supports both physical and emotional wellbeing.

5 practical ways to rebuild trust with food

The good news? If you’re stuck in a restrictive mindset, rest assure you can reverse it.

Eating more mindfully and inclusively helps activate your body’s rest and digest mode — improving digestive enzyme release, nutrient absorption and easing bloating. Over time, this approach helps calm both the gut and brain, rebuilding trust in your body and food choices.

Before diving into the five practical steps below, try putting your mindful eating to the test with this free quiz from Megan’s book Eat More, Live Well. Then revisit it in a month to see how your mindful eating score — and your relationship with food — have evolved.

1. Begin each meal with belly breathing

Put away your phone and any distractions, close your eyes and before you start eating take a few deep breaths into your stomach, not your chest, noticing your stomach and rib cage expanding. This is called diaphragmatic breathing aka belly breathing and it helps to activate your parasympathetic nervous system, promoting the ‘rest and digest’ response. This in turn can help activate digestion and prevent discomfort, while also allowing you to feel more present with the meal you’re about to enjoy. If you suffer with reflux, one study from the American Journal of Gastroenterology showed that just 10 minutes of belly breathing can significantly improve reflux symptoms without any changes to what you actually eat.

2. Focus on inclusion, not exclusion

Aim to eat from all six plant-based food groups — wholegrains, legumes, fruits, vegetables, nuts and seeds, plus herbs and spices. These ‘Super Six’ provide diverse fibres that keep your microbiome thriving. If you need some inspiration, head to our recipe hub.

3. Enjoy meals — don’t scrutinise them

Shift from judgment to curiosity. Instead of “Is this good or bad?”, ask “What do I enjoy about this meal?” and “What will my microbes enjoy?”. This simple mindset shift can reduce gut tension and enhance satisfaction.

4. Reintroduce “off-limits” foods with this mindful eating exercise

Choose one food you’ve been avoiding, say chocolate, and start with a small piece e.g. 30g bar. Examine the food, noticing its texture, colour and shape. Then close your eyes and inhale. Consider the smell; does it bring back memories or make your mouth water? Then take a bite and hold it in your mouth and when you start chewing, focus on how the textures start to change. Block your ears and listen to the sound of your chew.

Then switch your focus to the taste. Notice how many times you chew before you swallow. And finally, how this food makes you feel. Do you enjoy it? You don’t have to try this every time you eat but try it three times a week using a small portion of your chosen food. It can take up to nine weeks of committing to this exercise for you to notice the difference – like being able to leave a half-eaten block of chocolate in your cupboard or feeling satisfied with just a square or two each day. But you will get there!

A photo of a patient speaking to a dietitian

5. Seek support if fear persists

If certain foods consistently cause anxiety or discomfort, a gut-specialist dietitian can help identify real triggers and guide safe, gradual reintroduction. Professional guidance can make a huge difference in rebuilding confidence and a healthy, balanced relationship with food.

When fear of symptoms takes over

It’s understandable to avoid foods that seem to cause discomfort. But long-term avoidance can strengthen food anxiety and reduce microbial diversity, creating a cycle where fear itself worsens symptoms.

This is why medical diets like low FODMAP should always be done with professional guidance. With structured support, you can safely reintroduce foods and retrain both the mind and gut to respond calmly again.

It’s also worth keeping in mind that even if you have a genuine intolerance (unlike a food allergy), small amounts are usually well tolerated by most people, and gradual re-exposure can help your gut adapt.

Takeaway

Restriction might feel like control, but for your gut and overall health, it rarely is. A healthy relationship with food is about inclusion, not perfection.

When you eat mindfully, embrace variety and let go of guilt, your gut and your mind both thrive.

If you feel stuck in restriction or anxious around food, try the five strategies in this article over the next month and notice how your confidence, comfort and digestion begin to shift.

You deserve to feel relaxed, nourished and free to enjoy the festivities ahead. And ultimately being less rigid around food isn’t a lack of discipline — it’s a smart, gut-supportive strategy.

*If you’re currently experiencing or recovering from an eating disorder, please seek guidance from your GP or a qualified specialist before making any dietary changes.

Illustration of gut with micro bacteria and a quiz sheet

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